Great debates of Talmudic rabbis are referenced again and again as the pinnacle of productive Jewish disagreement. The Mishnaic period contained two major schools of thought – Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai. Pages of Talmud recount the many disputes between the scholars and their respective students. The arguments between Hillel and Shammai are classified as machhloket l’shem shamayim – arguments for the sake of heaven. 

 Based in respect, vulnerability, and nuance, a machloket l’shem shamayim seeks to strengthen the opinion of one’s opponent through debate. The same practice is found in different strands of the second-wave feminist movement, such as the women’s rights and women’s liberation movement, though these are not regarded as holy. Productive feminist argument is often taken simply as catty bickering or a “bitch fight.” Why is it that argument between Hillel and Shamai is deemed holy, whereas feminist debate is indicative of female weakness? Why do men get to fight? 

A particularly well-known argument between Hillel and Shammai is one of the bride. The scholars, in their infinite patriarchal wisdom, pose the situation of a bride who has been tragically pronounced ugly. When greeting this devastatingly ugly bride, Beit Hillel says one should bend the truth and tell her she looks beautiful. Though it seems to be a struggle, Hillel instructs us instead to emphasize the bride’s positive qualities rather than her supposedly numerous negative ones. Beit Shammai, of course, disagrees. Arguing it would be a sin to lie, he says that one must be honest and inform the bride of her so-called shortcomings and offer her a beautifying solution. This perspective is certainly harsh and a sure-fire way to be removed as a bridesmaid.  

If we want to appeal to the bride, we tell her she is gorgeous. If we want her appearance to shift, we arrive at the wedding with honesty. This dilemma between flattery and brutal honesty divided both Talmudic wedding guests and the feminists of the second wave. 

 To lie and tell a bride she is beautiful 

It is clear that our government and society were not built for women. They systematically subordinate those that challenge heteronormativity, patriarchy, whiteness, assumed ability, and established social hierarchy. But this can change. Legislation, such as Title IX, cements protection against gender discrimination in law. The women behind this incredible work, such as Bernice Sandler, operated within the sexist system that had been provided and sought to make it better. By adhering to the basic rules of the government that subjects them, women’s rights activists were able to make radical change that is achievable through law. They acknowledged that sexism occurs systemically but aim to undermine its impact. As Beit Hillel instructs, they recognize the ugliness of the system and work with it from within.  

To be honest and tell a bride her flaws  

It is clear that our government and society were not built for women. Society was built on patriarchy and relies on the subordination of women. To be free of the patriarchal system, women must work outside of what is considered respectable. Rebellions and dramatic protests are required for change to truly happen. Being honest with a bride could also look like consciousness-raising. Consciousness-raising groups in the early 1970s formed in radical feminist circles and served as havens for women to recognize the political forces behind their experiences with sexism. A conversation with Susan Brownmiller or other members of the New York Radical Women group could serve a bride good. Though unlikely, perhaps Beit Shammai could break into a feminist rampage at the wedding, saying that the whole notion on which we are judging the bride is built on patriarchal ideas and only places value on her physical attributes. This would make for quite a page of Talmud. Breaking away from societal expectation, women's liberation activists place their focus outside of law, aiming to inspire radical social change. They are honest with the bride and tell her that she is ugly, as Beit Shammai would, and provide her with a solution. 

Misogynists love to focus on the fights within the second-wave feminist movement, citing them as evidence of female inferiority. They claim that feminists cannot help but tear one another down. That, inherently, women cannot work together or challenge one another. This idea comes from a place of fear. It is through argument that feminist ideas are strengthened. Debate teases out the intricacies that have been silenced by powers that are afraid of women. Just as Beit Hillel benefits from the criticism of Beit Shammai to strengthen his argument, collaboration and disagreement between the women’s rights and women’s liberation movements are required to truly cause a revolution. In arguing feminist thought with deep consideration and energy, we raise feminist thought to the law, streets, and heaven. Every debate between feminists is a machhloket l’shem shamayim. Every debate reveals the power and beauty of feminist thought. And I’m not just saying this because Beit Hillel has advised me to.