“Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend / No way, no way, I think you need a new one.” These are just some of the lyrics from Avril Lavigne’s hit 2007 song “Girlfriend,” which broke the charts, even briefly wearing the crown as the number one single of the Billboard Hot 100.  

Though Lavigne was an iconic singer and strong female role model in some ways, there was also a problematic anti-feminist undertone in many of her songs. As you can see in the quote above, the female storyteller in the song blatantly disregards the male protagonist’s standing relationship, puts down his current girlfriend, and encourages him to dump her. The bridge of the song goes further: “She's like so whatever / You could do so much better / I think we should get together now.”  Not only does it insult “the other woman,” it also promotes women competing against one another. This bridge takes the song from toeing an anti-feminist line to stepping over it entirely, and the narrator’s actions of promoting herself at the expense of another girl are deeply rooted in patriarchal values. The female narrator cannot find a way to attract a man without deprecating those around her, which teaches vulnerable audiences that hurting others is an acceptable way to help yourself. 

Avril Lavigne is not the only songwriter to write and disseminate problematic tropes that put women down and pit them against one another. The music industry spits out an abundance of songs revolving around themes of envy and jealousy, because they are strong, common emotions that teen audiences can relate to and understand. The song “He Loves U Not” by the American girl group, Dream, revolves wholly and truly around ripping apart women for male attention. It tells the story of a girl confronting another girl who’s trying to make moves on her boyfriend, saying, “Give it your all, girl, give it all ya got / You can take a chance, and take your best shot / I see what you want girl, and whatcha do / He's never gonna, gonna make it with you.” The narrator emphasizes that the boyfriend is “so free to do what he wants” but “he’s never gonna be with you.” This recurring theme's normality takes me aback and forces reflection of the problems that took center-stage during the 2000s.  

The problem with many songs that follow this pattern is that the narrator uses the current girlfriend of their love interest as a scapegoat for their anger, promoting the idea that the current girlfriend is competing with the storyteller. Disguised under shiny lyrics, this motif of pitting one girl against another is incredibly sexist and quite prevalent in music from the early 2000s. When the media sponsors the idea that women should shame one another to attract the attention of a man, many impressionable kids internalize those ideals, which encourages anti-feminist behavior.  

At the same time, some of the biggest offenders who wrote songs with jealous anti-feminist messages were also women who advanced feminist causes. Take Avril Lavigne again as an example. The rock industry was historically dominated by men, and Lavigne’s career as a rockstar was a defiance of patriarchy itself. Although she did not refer to herself as a feminist, she repeatedly encouraged women to speak their minds and be self-assured, captioning an Instagram post celebrating the release of her song “Dumb Blonde” with, “we wrote ‘Dumb Blonde’ as an anthem for anyone who has been stereotyped or talked down to. Keep your confidence and don't let anyone tell you how to be.” She obviously wanted women to harness their power and defy stereotypes and so, although I don’t know if she would label herself as a feminist, Lavigne certainly possessed qualities of one.   

Of course, society also played a role in pushing artists to rely on lyrics that encouraged young female audiences to tear one another apart. It was incredibly difficult for women to break into the music industry. Even iconic female superstars like Madonna and Lady Gaga were in the minority. Misogyny was so deeply ingrained in society’s mind that many stars probably made the decision to parrot anti-feminist messages to gain popularity. For instance, Gwen Stefani's “Hollaback Girl” was more troublesome than some may remember. The entire song was centered around a petty confrontation between two girls, including lines like, “So I’m gonna fight, gonna give it my all/ Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you/ That’s right I’m the last one standing, another one bites the dust.” However, despite this problematic motif, “Hollaback Girl” was perched at number one on the iTunes charts for almost a month in 2005. It's not just that society accepted this trope; they celebrated it.  

It may even be that the only way for female rockers to feel confident that they could attract an audience was to rely on sexist messaging, which is incredibly disheartening but important to remember. We should have been lifting women up and encouraging them to write about a wider variety of topics, and then maybe female singers would have felt more inclined to write and perform songs that did not oppress their gender.  

One can acknowledge how difficult it was for women to break into the rock industry and admire pioneers like Lavigne, while still expressing disappointment that female rockers like her were not better role models to young girls. The incredibly problematic lyrics she and others performed reflected a cultural acceptance of sexism at the time and were one of many modes that taught these values. 

Many female artists are working hard to expand conversations about women in the media. Taylor Swift is probably the biggest female role model in the music industry today and she writes songs with lyrics like “fuck the patriarchy” and “I'm so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man.” Swift’s influence over her immense fanbase is incredible and her callout of sexist practices makes a difference for little girls everywhere.  

Beyoncé is another powerhouse singer who has raised the bar both in the music industry and the world of feminism. Her song “***Flawless” features words from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Ted Talk emphasizing the burden it is to be a woman in this society. Her lyrics directly contrast those of Avril Lavigne, pointing out that, “We raise girls to see each other as competitors / Not for jobs or for accomplishments / Which I think can be a good thing / But for the attention of men.”  

Hopefully, these artists have begun paving the way for a more empowering era of music that cultivates strong, independent women. Personally, I know that their lyrics have inspired me to work hard and defy those who condemn and underestimate me for and because of my gender. As listeners, it’s our job to spread these positive messages and call out sexist media still in existence today.