As a woman who speaks her mind more often than not, growing up in an I-need-a-strong-boy-to-carry-these-chairs world is difficult. I remember frequently presenting ideas to my peers and receiving little to no recognition, and then seeing my male classmate say the same thing and getting applauded. At one sleepover, my friend at the time told me that I was “just too opinionated and should try quieting down.” I was tired of being stereotyped as loud when my male counterparts were viewed as leaders. That’s why, when I first began to submit my writing to contests, I developed an androgynous pen name: Jude.  

Jude wasn’t a boy or a girl. Jude didn’t get discarded because they were too loud, too opinionated, or too feminine. I found my escape in writing. I could finally express my ideas without being interrupted or biasedly judged. When I picked up my pen, I couldn’t be silenced by patriarchal culture. Nobody could tell me to “quiet down.”  

Eventually I got tired of masking my femininity to gain respect. It was one thing to hide under a gender-neutral name, but another altogether to make my way while proudly displaying my womanhood. I wrote and presented a speech about the importance of the accessibility of contraception to women without medical resources. I submitted poems and stories, and I became involved in the newspaper writing under my real name. But I was still searching for a place where I could connect with like-minded women who loved language and were dedicated to making the world more accepting and feminist. That’s when I found The Rising Voices Fellowship (RVF) at the Jewish Women’s Archive.  

When I first met the people in my cohort of RVF, I felt excited and intimidated. They all spoke so clearly and powerfully. We spent the night getting to know each other, and quickly realized how many things we all had in common. Many of us felt like we weren’t taken seriously when we displayed signs of femininity. For instance, when I wear acrylic nails to school, or dress in girly colors, I get labeled as an airhead despite my contributions to class discussions. My male teachers have made unnecessary comments about the amount of mascara I wear, the earrings I put on, and the length of my nails.  

Our society associates femininity with weakness, which makes it much harder for women to gain respect. It was validating to learn that other members of my cohort had similar experiences with sexism. I felt inspired to be in an environment with them, where this bias was eliminated and we saw each other for our ideas, not genders. I was able to freely express myself without feeling suppressed or “too much” in a way like never before. Through the RVF, I published articles that reflected my journey as a Jewish feminist and connected with passionate women who challenged me to improve my writing and my worldview. 

There is still a lot of work to be done to get women’s ideas fully respected. While writing under a gender-neutral pseudonym was an escape for me, I still want to be able to share my opinions publicly as a woman without interruption or patronization. I want to dress in whatever style I prefer without it impacting how educated I appear to men. I want to be sociable without coming across as “ditzy” when my male counterpart is praised for “networking.”  

RVF is now over, but I’ll continue to seek out safe spaces for my opinions to be shared, and I am determined than ever to make the world more open to listening to strong, independent women.