Nora Ephron talked about the “Jewish romantic comedy” versus the “Christian romantic comedy.” In the former, the conflict is internal; it comes from the characters’ neuroses (When Harry Met Sally). In the latter, the conflict is external, derived from circumstances outside the characters’ control (Sleepless in Seattle). Nobody Wants This, the flawed and charming new rom-com series from Netflix, is the latter, but it is most interesting when it leans into the former. It’s a romantic comedy starring Adam Brody and Kristen Bell, two beacons of charisma and likability and chemistry, which allows the narrative to coast on that charisma. As a result, we get a story that’s ultimately more about incompatible work lives than it is about real connection or love. Every scene between Brody and Bell crackles with rom-com magic; I am significantly less interested in everything else going on here.

The much buzzed about Nobody Wants This tracks the unlikely love story between Joanne (Kristen Bell), a non-Jewish, non-religious sex podcaster, and Noah (Adam Brody), a rabbi. Brody’s Noah is a venerable new challenger in the Television Hot Clergy Wars, joining the ranks of Andrew Scott’s Hot Priest (Fleabag) and Kathryn Hahn’s Rabbi Raquel (Transparent). Nobody Wants This deeply wants us to see him as Hot Rabbi, even going so far as to have characters refer to him in-narrative as Hot Rabbi (something Fleabag didn’t have to do to get its point across). 

In general, I find the show’s sense of humor grating—there is far too much Gen Z lingo used in place of jokes, and far too much cruel lampooning of Jewish women. Nobody Wants This requires audiences to believe that all Jewish women are loud, cruel, controlling, and resoundingly unfun in order to legibly contrast them with the easy, breezy, beautiful Joanne. That was unnecessary. Noah can desire Joanne even if there are Jewish women in his life who are fun—we are fun! 

By fixating on the image of The Hot Rabbi, Nobody Wants This reveals itself as much more interested in the fact that taboo is sexy than it is about why taboos themselves exist. 

Fleabag’s Hot Priest was sexy and taboo because of Catholic law around sex; priests famously do not have it, so for Fleabag and The Priest to cross that boundary is especially rife with conflict. Jewish clergy are not celibate by doctrine, so the pressure keeping Noah and Joanne apart has to come from Jewish culture and community rather than Jewish law around sex, duty, or belief. 

This results in a story that makes individual Jews, like Noah’s overbearing mother (Tovah Feldshuh), look like the reason Noah and Joanne can’t make it work, where Fleabag is clear that the problem is scriptural. I wish Nobody Wants This cared more about presenting Judaism as a religion, with its own norms and history that extends far beyond the way it functions in the series. It feels like, for Joanne, Judaism is “an annoying thing my boyfriend has to do for work,” or “an annoying thing that makes my boyfriend’s friends and family annoying and hateful” (The word "shiksa" is used far more in the series than I've ever heard anyone use it in real life). At best, in the genuinely heartwarming scene where Joanne experiences her first makeshift Shabbat in the middle of a crowded restaurant, it’s “a thing that makes my boyfriend do a romantic gesture for me.” 

The show's creator, Erin Foster, based the story on her real-life romance with a Jewish man. (For the record, Foster converted, whereas Joanne has not yet made that choice for herself). But her husband is not a rabbi; he’s a talent agent. I think that’s why the professional scales feel uneven here; to tell a story about slowly being accepted into your partner’s religious family, it makes sense to raise the stakes by making that religion his job. But, to me, “incompatible jobs” does not create compelling conflict—especially because Joanne’s job is “sex podcaster,” as if that would inherently scandalize a Jewish family (the best-known “sex podcaster” of all time was the very famously Jewish Dr. Ruth)! 

We're told by Noah's and Joanne’s friends and family that they are wrong for each other, but we are shown that Noah and Joanne get along wonderfully and fit like puzzle pieces into each other’s lives. As a means to an end, Nobody Wants This requires us to believe that Jews are bigoted, closed-minded, and puritanical, in opposition to Joanne’s secular family’s dysfunctional candor. And, as much as I loved watching Bell and Brody fall in love, I wish they’d gotten a chance to play with some relationship conflict that came from inside themselves. In the Ephron sense, I wish they’d gotten to make a truly Jewish romantic comedy.